Alabama Rides Again....Campaign Style

By John Archibald -- The Birmingham News

May 19, 2010, 5:25AM

Dale who?
The internet buzzed this week with more political ads from Alabama. Dale Peterson -- a candidate for commissioner of agriculture and industries, as it turns out -- created what some called the best political ad ever!

I don't know about that, but it was memorable. Sort of like David Allan Coe's "perfect country & western song," though it didn't say anything at all about Mama, or trucks, or trains, or prison, or gettin' drunk.

It did have a hat and a horse, a rifle, and a rant by "Pistol" Peterson (see video below) that took on thugs, criminals, illegal immigrants, and the rat finks who stole his political signs.

"We're Republicans," Peterson warns, pulling a rifle from nowhere. "We should be better than that."

He concludes by shouldering the gun.

"I'm Dale Peterson. I'll name names and take no prisoners."

It's awesome. And terrifying, for sign-stealing thugs.

But does it work?

You tell me. Before this week, had you heard of Dale Peterson?

Which is why Alabama's politicos have tried to out-gun each other for years.

A gun-toting Lt. Gov. Jim Folsom ran a beauty in 2006 to beat Mountain Brook's Luther Strange.

"I have two great kids, three dogs and four shotguns," Folsom said, presumably in order of importance. "I never have played tennis at the Mountain Brook club. I'd rather be hunting."

Classic.

Would-be governor Bradley Byrne fired the first salvo this campaign when he armed himself and his sons for a pleasant stroll through the woods. The kids (blam!) asked regular father/son stuff. You know: What's it like, dad, to fight corruption in (blam!) Montgomery?

The gun is so ubiquitous in Alabama politics it should be listed in the minimum qualifications. To be ag commissioner, for instance, you must be 25, a resident for five years, and a gun owner for seven.

Which makes you feel for John McMillan. He's running for that office, but doesn't have cash for TV ads to prove his gun mettle. He relies on a website photo of himself in camo, carrying a shotgun with a scope. Somehow, he still misses.

And remember Matt Chancey? He ran for Public Service Commission in 2008. In one ad, he showed a kid how to shoot as he warned that environmentalists prefer owls and tree frogs to people.

I don't know if he was shooting owls or environmentalists.

Who cares, I guess. Just lock and load.

So you have to hand it to James Anderson, seeking the Democratic nomination for attorney general. His ad shows him brainstorming with ad execs as they try to sell him the perfect spot. It lampoons all the old tricks -- and puts him in front of a NASCAR car with shotgun in hand. It's the down home double whammy.

"But guys," he protests. "I'm a real attorney."

Like that matters.

This is Alabama, after all, where you can keep your snooty qualifications, as long as you're packing heat.

Yeah. You can take the guns from our political ads. But only when you pry them from our cold, dead campaign committees.

John Archibald's column appears Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Write him at
jmailto:jrchibald@bhamnews.com.


Archibald: It's how the South was won (with video)